i dont think i'll be able to hear you ever again

i just wanted to conceal myself from you noticing it, not insulting. i just needed someone to sober my feelings.

i just wanted to hear that voice of yours, that would heal everything. i just wanted to hear your voice to bed

the past, i have done regretting them and i dont want to drag it for the rest of my life

but why did you have to point out my weakness.

its a burden for me to have you holding on so long.

Aryana

this is my malay name given by the sweet Fyra last year. yeah, just coz she has a best friend Aryana Keyes, hahaha. but then, i like this name. it sounds certainly unique :)

i have not been using this name since last year. but recently, that name has relived ! thanks to Amira Acap, ghahahahhaha. a very awesome autobot from Transformerssss ! and we won, thanks to their dear A-coach of course :p jk. such a great participant, i would say. and i wasn't surprised of Amira's first impression of me, looking like a Malay. as i said, double eyelids and inherited looks.

i slept at 3 talking to Amira about things, religion mostly. it was fun to learn these things, and Amira sure seems very independent.
so yeah, i'm getting to learn lots of chinese now, and some basic Farsi ;)

HUNGRYYY :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGbwL8kSpEk  :) link for today !

they're really pretty, they can sing and dance well. and i can say i'm jealous of them sometimes. and my idol from that group is Sunny. although her height is not as promising to be in the entertaining industry, i love her attitude and her personality. but this is reality, i know it. but in the end, i'll just be myself :)
but certainly, regretted quitting gymnastics, after all the plus points i can finally see.

recently, i've got a new shoe, just for running. previous years i have been  using other non appropriate shoes, so the performance turned out not good as well. so imma train up my stamina for the upcoming road run ;)
yesterday i spoke with Amirah about plans for YE whole year round. and i could say some of her ideas can pakai lah. and we discussed about debate also. i'm not sure about continuing in debate. i will have to stayback every single day if i were to be in debate, and also, its a plus activity, because certainly i will be active in YE and athletics.

and the burden from science stream would be even more struggling, as it is new for the fellow form 4's next yr. i cant believe some people actually started studying already. and i'm waaay far from that. i'm just enjoying life as it is.

oh well, i have a prefect report to write up, gotta crack my snoozing brain ! :)
i felt so sorry for Sam yesterday, Sam couldn't sleep because of me. i shouldn't feel sorry for my existence, because it was your choice to get involved in my life. and life is cruel, beat it.

nonstop journey

these holidays had been great, really great.
prefect camp, a place where i tightened my bond with people i cherish
days with my mom, where i heard everything and felt unforgettable things with her
SKST camp, where connections starts, bonds strengthen and where my heart gets tied up
singapore, where i bursted my heart out, and losing my mind, after everything that occurred
Amie's comeback, where lost touch were relived
leadership academy, where friendship proved it meant the most in some of our hearts

i have certainly grew a lot in me. and there seems to be less heart palpitations, because i cared less. about what the community would say

back to my own square

Neon Naege Banhaesseo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dORbMVUdQp4
there, go and understand my title.

If you're alone, 
I'll be your shadow.
If you want to cry, 
I'll be your shoulder.
If you're sad,
I'll be your pillow. 
If you need to be happy, 
I'll be your smile.
but anytime you need a friend, 
I'll just be me.


thank you, you have befriended my lonely soul all this while.
you don't seem like you mean all these words, but i know on the inside you mean it. 
well, thats just part one. There's a longer road of your sincerity




dont cry because of me, the one you're inspired of. 
and don't ever let me go. 
sahlome my friend. 

reminiscing the past

on a breezy cool night while i sat on the pavement, i thought of many things. a holiday filled with thoughts.

Favourite Girl

realllllly excited for Amie's comeback :)

amazing and indescribable.

maybe destiny brought us somewhat together.

and that smile is just irresistible

CNY :)

chinese new year is just around the corner. in a month, i'll be preparing for the yearly event :3 

but this year will be only myself and daddy going back to Ipoh. so i'll receive commission from brother's ang pows? :P people say that you can't cry on this day or you will cry the whole year round. no wonder i have been crying last year. superstitions. and they also say wearing a brand new shoe on that day would step on those who talked behind your back. and yes, i'm excited for that, hehehe.

1.33 am and i shall be going to bed or my face will swell up and look terrible tmrw. 

looking forward a new chapter :)

RESAH

my head just feels so uneasy and my body is heating up. it feels so terrible today, is it because i ran too much yesterday or waking up too late today?

Ho Yan Hor is good. along with some people by my side who cares about me. and wishing me sweet dreams.

i hope i have enough energy for tomorrow. or just some sugar would help. i'm all hyped up.

Just an Opinion

Another year is coming to an end. And I don't see progress in some of the things. It's true what people say, you only remember the bad things people have done to you, not the other wise. Of all these nonsense, I'm grateful to always have my family. They don't judge you, they are happy with your presence, and they say things straight to your face. Unlike society nowadays who talks behind people. Which, I don't get the point of. There are many things I want some of you to read, but maybe it would be pointless if you can't feel it going down your spine at the end of the day. 

Fcuk this world, and every damn thing that happened to it. I killed more than 10 mosquitoes using the electrical racket. And I wish I could just use these rackets to slap some people's face. But then again, there are reasons why policemens and security exists. ''omg you're so mean'', some people may say, but dude, this is reality, it isn't fantasy. You think I give a fcuk if you said I'm mean? Ha ha ha. What Perut used to say. His indication of not funny. 

I like you Sau Mun
I like Chinese girls . Lol phrase.
You wanna be real this time? Even better.
Would you be mine?
Can you be my girlfriend? 
If I didn't have her, I would've dated you. 
GGL k. 

Just coz I have double eyelids, just coz I inherited my mom and grandpa's looks, people really tend to look at you from the outside. 
It really gives me the chills, when I think about them. 

I just couldn't do it, and countlessly failed their hearts, but it's good they learned to move on. I must've left a great impact.
Back then when I was in my primary school, I used to have a list of people I had a crush on, and would rate them, really childish ol times. 

Why do you like only Malay dudes? 

Because they have something I don't see in others, obviously. 

Finally, A self-contradicting question by some, when you gonna convert? 
We'll see when the time comes.

the post below has just ruined my mood today.

and there seems to be even more frequent heart palpitations these days.

perhaps it would be healed by juicy mosquitoes next week :')

BC

"who doesn't even belong to our community"


what does it matter to you?
and i don't see why aren't you saying this to yourself, ditching someone when you were in the wrong, waiting for them to say sorry. 
don't act like you're everything, it just diminishes you.